From the time she was born my husband and I swore that we would never put her in Daycare. Ha. Then reality hit. We didn't have enough family in town to watch her while we worked. So we had a good 6 month run where we were lucky enough to have free family childcare. Then the inevitable had to happen. Dreaded Daycare.
We decided on a well known church daycare close to home and my job. That first day I dropped her off was torturous. Probably more so for me than for her. She cried when I left but not much. I know this because I called three times that day to check on her! She didn't nap but she survived. We survived. The first year of Daycare wasn't easy. Jules got used to going daily and really liked her teachers but the germs...oh the germs. She came home with everything under the sun...runny nose, bite marks, scrapes, black eye, pink eye, ear infection. You name it she had it and sometimes more than once. We knew going into this whole daycare thing that she would get sick. What we didn't realize was that we would get sick also. That first year was rough!
The second year was much better. The only bump in the road we had was the change of teachers. Each year the kids move up and with that comes a different teacher. Jules was very attached to her first teacher. So much so that if Miss. Sharon wasn't at school I would have a small panic attack because she would scream and cry as soon as we walked in the room. So I knew she wouldn't take easy to a new teacher. I was right. It took her about 2 weeks of drop offs before she wouldn't cry when I left. After that...smooth sailing. She LOVED her new teacher and all the children in her class. She developed friendships and most importantly she was learning so much. She enjoyed school.
June rolled around and I didn't have to work anymore. I pulled her out of daycare. I was happy to be able to that. Happy I didn't have to pay $150.00 a week to have someone else watch my child. Happy I didn't have to pack anymore lunches. Happy she would nap daily at home where she napped best. What I didn't realize was that I was taking her away from her little friends, taking her away from daily playtime and most importantly learning. She was excited to be home with mommy at first. Loved going to the beach. We went away on vacation in July so she definitely didn't miss school then either.
August rolled around and she spotted one of her Gerber Graduate heat up meals in the cabinet. That triggered the "school memory". She sat down for lunch that day and told me plainly that she wanted to go back to school. It broke my heart. That is when the guilt first hit me. I had taken her away from peer interaction and learning. I know it is best for her to be home with me. I know that I can teach her just as good as her daycare teachers did. I do have a degree in Elementary Ed. but I still feel a tad bit guilty. Its ridiculous. We enrolled her in dance class so now she still gets the peer interaction once a week. I do my best to take her to the zoo and the park and the beach as often as possible. She is by no means suffering.
Seriously, Mommy Guilt is fierce!
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